Accepting Where I Am At…

I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. It’s the last thing I want. I am not that type of person. I don’t like to show my weaknesses to others. I want everyone to see me as strong and unstoppable! And in my mind, that is where I am at– Strong, determined, unstoppable and motivated.

These past few weeks, I have had to switch gears when it comes to my health. My focus is in a different place than it was a few years ago. Not by choice, but by circumstances beyond my control. Back in May I posted this in my Women Live Fit Community. It was hard. It’s hard for me to be vulnerable to people, especially those that count on me to be their role model of perfect health!

My goals used to be (and still can be someday- no one says I can’t!) to drop my body fat % to 20%, and have ripped abs and legs and be comfortable and ROCK any outfit I choose! I used to try to choose 3 races each year to participate in- mud runs, 5K and whatever else I could find, but I am finding that my goals have changed for the time being.

I don’t show it on the outside. Especially when I am with my clients.. I want them to see me in a positive light, full of energy and pushing through every obstacle. I am not being fake when they see me that way, they are the ones who actually keep me moving forward and keeping me from giving up. I DO feel energized and want to push harder!

My head is in the right place and my body is slowly starting to come along. I am learning (and have learned) so much over the past few years. And we all know the meaning of Insanity, right?? Doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results? Well that is where I have been “stuck”!

Back in November when I started doing Keto, I got great results! I think that was the thing that allowed my body to get rid of so much inflammation and I felt amazing! As I started to feel better, I started to push harder. Wanting to get more results quicker!! But it doesn’t work that way.

Instead of getting the results I wanted, nothing happened. Nothing changed. I was stuck.  I still felt good for the most part, but the harder I pushed,  the more I started to feel fatigued, started gaining weight and the inflammation started to go back up. That was NOT the results I wanted!

This was my body’s way of telling me to SLOW THE EFF DOWN!

So now I am trying some things that I have never done and done for a longer period of time –Slowing down. Doing Less. Adding more carbs (Still Ketoish, but with some carb ups!!) to see what will happen.

I did JUST walking and Yoga for 2 weeks and nothing changed. My weight didn’t budge, my measurements were the same and my energy was the same. So I thought, if doing less was giving me the same results as doing more, why was I doing so much more??  (Ironically, I tried this the SAME time last year.. duh… see the trend here??)

I seem to want it to be a “quick fix” but as you can see, it’s not.

I have done a TON of research on adrenal fatigue, which I know I have had for years now, maybe even longer than I would have thought, but the mold exposure just pushed my body over the edge and made all things fall apart. So I know it takes a long time to heal them. I have read it can take anywhere from 12 to 18 months, depending on how you take care of yourself.

I have a good friend who has experienced a lot of the same things that I have, mold exposure, tanked adrenals, and we are both very similar personalities! We don’t like to slow down and sitting still is almost impossible! BUT we are both sick of not feeling 100% and not getting results that we are looking for.

Sooo…we are in this together. We are committing to stick with the walking, yoga and some PIYO for as long as it takes for us to heal our adrenals and feel good again! Not only is it our adrenals but our hormones (they are all directly connected) so we will also focus on getting our hormones back to where they should be. I know at 44 (almost 45) hormones can wreak some havoc on they body normally, but I refuse to accept that I can’t live an optimal, healthy lifestyle!!!!

I am working on changing my mindset too. Because when I slow down and do less, I feel like a “fake” when I tell my clients to push harder. But I am not a fake. I am just in a different place than they are. For comparison, for me having to slow down is like making my clients do 500 burpees in one day! Yes, it can be done, but who wants to do it? Seriously?

So allowing my body to be okay with slowing down is going to take some work, but I will get there. It’s a MUST if I want to live the live I feel I deserve to live.

One. Day. At. A. Time.